The years have blown off a few flowers, and life has buried a few bumps in the road. Things don't always work out as you think, however, "I turn thorns into a field full of flowers, and nothing in this world can torment me," said Zhang Xianliang.
岁月吹落几处繁花，生命埋藏几多坎坷？人生在世不如意事十常八九，然而，“我把荆棘化作布满鲜花的原野，这世间便没什么可以将我折磨”张贤亮如是说。
When I first chose to learn art, part of the reason was that my cultural performance was not enough to support me to get into the university of my desire, and my love for painting was the driving force for my decision to go on this path. I was doubted at the beginning of my choice: you have never been in contact with professional painting, how can you compete with others; I was discouraged: The art exam is too tough, taking into account the cultural achievements while also learning professional courses, or give up before it's too late. But in the end, with the support of my parents and friends, I chose to take the art exam.
当初选择艺考，其一是文化成绩不足以支撑我考上心仪的大学，而对画画的热爱才是我决定在这条路上走下去的动力。选择前期被怀疑过：你从没接触过专业绘画，怎么能跟别人竞争；被劝阻过：艺考太艰难了，兼顾文化成绩的同时还要学好专业课，还是趁早放弃吧。但最终在父母朋友的支持下我还是选择了参加艺考。
In the matter of painting, the way forward is far more difficult than I imagined, and after studying, I realized that the gap with my imagination is still very big. There are many talented people, and those who are good at drawing are not rare, so the competition on the art road is indeed very fierce. I always thought that excluding the talent, the time and effort were proportional to the reward. But the moment the results of the joint examination came out, I began to doubt whether I had made the right choice and regretted that I had not met my parents' expectations. During that time I thought I hid everything well, when my parents and friends asked, I could make light of the matter and would not show intense emotions, but my heart always hid a thorn in my side, making my whole being as heavy as a boulder, doing anything with a kind of retrograde pressure.
在画画这件事上，前进的道路远比我想象的更加艰难，学习过后才发现与我想象中的差距还是很大的。天才比比皆是，画的好的也并非凤毛麟角，美术这条路竞争的确非常激烈。我始终认为除去确实占比较大的天赋，时间上的努力也是与收获成正比的。但当联考成绩出来的那一刻，我开始怀疑自己的选择是否正确，遗憾自己未曾满足父母的期待。那段时间的我以为自己将一切都隐藏的很好，当父母朋友问及时，我能轻描淡写地将这件事情揭过，不会表现出激烈的情绪，但我的心里却始终隐藏着一根刺，让我整个人像巨石一样沉重，做什么都有一种逆行的压力。
I thought the results of the joint examination might become my lifelong regret. When I returned home with this thought, I found that my mother had hung the color work I had painted on the wall, and things I thought I would never touch again appeared in front of my eyes again, only to realize that the pressure was not imposed on myself by others, but that I had never put it down. The process of training is not a lack of sweat and aggravation, perhaps once the purpose of taking the art exam is for the desired university, but the university is not the end of life, and the results do not determine everything. When we dipped in the lead and gray paint, the overall shape, and the color matching all cultivated another window to our world so that we have a different feeling and understanding of the world. It may be true that I am not gifted or talented, but studying art has opened my eyes to many different landscapes as I continue to make my way toward my dreams. I turned this failure into motivation in my culture class and faced all the setbacks in life with a calm mind. Although there is bitterness in the process of growth, adversity is like a reef, which may shock away one's faith and hope at first sight, but only afterward do I realize that it is also an opportunity to readjust and sail into the future.
我以为联考成绩可能会成为我一辈子的遗憾，当我带着这种想法回到家时，却发现妈妈将我画过的色彩作业挂上了墙，本以为再也不会接触的事物重新出现在我的眼前，才惊觉压力并不是他人施加在自己身上的，而是自己一直未曾放下，此时面对这一幕我的心中更多的是一种释然。集训的过程不乏汗水与委屈，或许曾经参加艺考的目的是为了心仪的大学，但大学并非人生的终点，成绩也不能决定一切。当我们浸染在铅灰颜料中时，整体的造型，色彩的搭配都培养出了我们的另一扇窗，使我们对这个世界有了不一样的感受与理解。也许我的确不是天赋异禀，也并非是才华横溢，可是学习美术在我不断向梦想进发的途中，让我见识了很多不同的风景。我将此次的失利化作文化课上的动力，以平和的心态去面对生活中的一切挫折，成长过程中虽有苦涩，但逆境有如礁石，初见可能会冲击掉自身的信念与希望，但过后才发现它也是重新调整，驶向未来的契机。
Author: Liu Yaqi
Date: August 26, 2022
